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My job, upon which I relied for validation, was dead-end, albeit wellpaying. Now, my parents gone, my wife gone, my children gone; what, really, was left?I applied for a leave-of-absence from my job. I set up an automated pay plan to have yard work done, so that the neighbours couldn't complain. And then I shut myself off from the world.It took the best part of two months for people to finally piss off. My sisters kept up longer, but I didn't want to see anyone, didn't want to talk on the phone. If I had to leave the house I'd try to doit at night, when I wasn't likely to run into a neighbour. Most of the time I just laid on the bed and stared sightlessly at the ceiling. I stayed in the basement because going upstairs to the bedrooms,which remained as my family had left them, overwhelmed me.I existed in a nether-world between life and death. I knew I had to move one way or the other - to get busy living, or get busy dying. I was leaning strongly toward the latter.So I began to 'get. "I would, but let's get a table, I'm feeling a bit peckish." This time she gave me a brilliant smile and her eyes were dancing with laughter. I felt the blush rise up from my collar and lightly grasped her elbow while steering her to a near by booth.As she sat, she stage whispered "I don't know your name!"I think I recovered faster this time, and replied "Ann, it's a pleasure to meet you, I'm ... Jonathon" That brought a giggle. When I was I kid, I hated be called Jonathon. Our third grade teacher had insisted on it, and she and I never saw eye to eye on anything. I sat, and signaled for a couple of menus.I felt lost for words for a few moments and then I realized there wasn't really any script. I just had to try and be myself, well a version of myself that didn't know Anna."That is a beautiful dress. You wear it very well." I tried, and hoped that wasn't too lecherous. But she did look amazing and I was having a hard time keeping my eyeballs on her face."Well isn't that sweet. Thank.
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